It’s funny how when I finally decide to dust the blog off, topics just keep presenting themselves to write about!
I had an incident occur on Facebook (*sigh*) and originally was going to leave a longer status to update my support network, but decided to take a little time and spend more than 30 seconds on something I felt was more important.
My husband has been traveling quite a bit for work lately, which means I’ve spent more time alone than I have. It takes me a ridiculous amount of time to ask for help. (I’m so horribly stubborn at times.) Going back to the months after Kira was born, I KNOW I need to ask for help more. I KNOW I can’t do it on my own. So when I ask for help (even for something small), it’s not a small feat.
It was a stupid status that started it all…me asking if anyone wanted to join me and the girls to attend a princess party at a local restaurant. And, truth be told, I didn’t expect anyone to take me up on it (we opted not to go and are attending another function this weekend instead). But a comment was made that just really, really struck me.
“If you are the type of mom and women you claim to be you take them yourself”
Now, I know the person that posted this is having some serious difficulties at the time. I know she needs prayers and help. But I also know that she said that with the intent to hurt.
And you know what? It did.
What she didn’t know was what was going on in my head. How difficult it’s been for me lately, how out of control I’ve been feeling.
I’ve been feeling like the worst parent in the world. I yell too much, my house is a disaster, my child told me that she never wanted to go home again this past weekend, and getting a decent meal on the table has been a struggle.
And yet…my kids are safe, happy, well-fed, socialized (ugh). I must be doing something right.
But for that. For me to have my worst fears just written out there by someone who really has no idea.
“If you were the type of mom and woman you claim to be…”
I’m not perfect, not better than anyone else out there, and I’ve NEVER claimed to be. I’m not super woman, not a person that I feel deserves to be admired.
Dave and I have worked hard for the life we have and we’re lucky enough to be in a position where we are seeing the benefits of our hard work. Believe me, we have our struggles though.
No one is perfect.
But to have it thrown out there, to have it shoved in your face…(even by someone who is saying it that you probably should just ignore) oh it sucks.
The good from this has been amazing. I have an AMAZING group of people surrounding me, who are willing to take a stand and help me fight. Women coming out of the Facebook woodwork to tell me that what I’m feeling is unjust.
To all of you, thank you.
Thank you for proving that, even when we feel like the worst parent in the world, we are not and it shows.
Thank you for taking the time to lift someone when they’ve been crushed.
Thank you for showing me that, even though one person is trying to shove me down, I have a much MUCH large group there to lift me up.
May we all be blessed to have the love and support that I’ve experienced.